An Open Letter….

To the Jews that feel abandoned,
by your friends,
by the people you looked up to,
and, if you’re like me, by so much of the wellness industry.

I am not the same person I was on October 6th. A part of my heart is irreparably broken and a part of my soul is ignited like never before. I’m exhausted.

And I know you feel it, too.

The fear. The confusion. The gut-wrenching desire to see our hostages home, an end to Hamas, and a sustainable path to peace. And I know you feel the confusion, too. Over why these fundamental needs aren’t expressed by those whose values you once thought you shared. Over why, in your deep grief, they haven’t checked in to see how you are. Perhaps more than anything I am so tired of the gaslighting from a group of people who claim to have their values rooted in inclusivity and deep listening.

Originally I wrote this for them. For the ones feigning interest in peace while perpetuating false narratives that only serve to increase violence. And then, with the help of some friends, realized that the people who I *wish* would hear this message never will. The woman who runs A Jewish Perspective shared something profoundly beautiful; Jews didn’t survive the camps by trying to convince the Nazis or sympathizers that they were wrong; instead they found creative ways to maintain their traditions; to light candles and have bar mitzvahs, to find joy and be grateful for another day. She shared that our peoplehood endures from the home we build, not from the debates we win.

Of course, we can engage in meaningful conversations where appropriate. But her point was to ensure we spend more time engaging within the safety and beauty of community than in the hatred outside of it. And so at the same time that I realized this would not pierce the barrier of those committed to demonizing us, I also realized that they are in fact not who need it the most. We need it the most. The digital space can feel isolating and scary and I wanted to write something for you. Something that tells you that you are not alone. I wanted you to know, that despite the abandonment, you matter. That the screams in your heart are shared and heard.You belong here.

I do not just want a ceasefire, I want LASTING peace for Israelis and Palestinians alike. I want to return of the hostages and the dismantling of the terror group that continue to radicalize the youth of Gaza. I want the destruction of the oppressive IRI and the propaganda for which they are responsible. I am heartbroken over the continued death and destruction in the Middle East. As a mother and as a Jewish woman my heart is irreparably broken and I spend my days mourning loss and trying my best, often unsuccessfully, to remain present and joyful for my children. 

And I know you feel it, too. And I know so many of them feel it, too, which understandably drives their desire to be involved. Their humanity shines. It’s beautiful. It’s just often missing key things.

And that is why I am also angry. SO angry. 

Because they share Bisan like she didn’t steal 400k from the money they raised. They share Motaz like there is somehow magically freedom of the press in Gaza; like they don’t publicly execute people who speak out against them. 

They share Hamas death toll figures like the people who have openly stated their mission to kill all Jews have integrity. 

They share Al Jazeera like it’s not Qatar state media and banned across countries in the Middle East; like the most recent hostage video didn’t include a demand to have them operating in Israel again. 

They share a graphic that was created by the same company that has been sanctioned for funneling money to Hamas. 

They share NYT like they didn’t bury the holocaust. They share ICRC like they’ve even attempted to visit the hostages, many of which are likely pregnant now. They share CNN like they haven’t peddled and promoted Hamas propaganda without fact checking. They share UN like Israel didn’t just find the bodies of several hostages underneath their buildings in Rafah, like their schools in Gaza aren’t home to weapons stockpiles and books teaching children how to murder Jews. 

They put their binary blinders on this talk about colonialism like Israel isn’t actually the most successful decolonization movement in history. 

They say “it’s just antizionism” like 95% of the world’s Jews aren’t Zionists and like the soviets didn’t create antizionism as a left-wing form of antisemitism in the 60s. 

They say apartheid like 20% of the Israeli population isn’t Arab with full rights. They reference the apartheid of people in the West Bank and Gaza like those areas are not run by a separate government negating any claims of apartheid. 

They talk about white supremacy like they could tell the difference between an Israeli and a Palestinian; like their western notions of oppression somehow fit everywhere in the world - ironically embodying the same supremacy they pretend to stand against.

They talk about imperialism like they don’t know or care about Arab conquest out of the Arabian peninsula across the entire Middle East. They infantilize Hamas and middle easterners, ironically embodying the racism they pretend to stand against. 

They swear “it’s not antisemitic to say…” and speak over the people who actually have the right to determine whether that’s true. I’ve never heard them preface any other minority discussions that way, have you?

And devastatingly, when we defend Israel, they tell us we are heartless and clearly can’t be sad for the loss of Palestinian lives like that’s not on them. Please know that it is. It is their projection; it is their dehumanization of Jewish souls; it is their inability to hold space for the grief of both peoples. I mourn every child alike. I know you do, too.

The saddest thing is, their ‘activism’ is actually what prevents peace. This totally false narrative they’ve created, and this notion of ‘river to the sea’. Neither people are going anywhere and until they stop peddling the idea that the world’s only Jewish nation needs to be dismantled, we will never see that. And they are asking for the destruction that once again they claim to stand against. 

It is hypocritical and a double standard. 

Jews are murdered on one side for not being white enough. Murdered on the other for being too white. Jews will morph into whoever they need them to be to justify their hatred. To make their antisemitism make sense. And once again everyone thinks they are immune from the longest standing virus of bigotry in history.

They are not immune.

And for those that say “we just want kids to stop dying.” A-BLOODY-MEN. Every Jew I know deeply grieves the loss of children EVERYWHERE. We ALL want this to end. Meanwhile I had to watch while too many of them celebrate the loss of Jewish children as an act of resistance, or deny it, or conveniently forgot it while Hamas and Hezbollah fire rockets indiscriminately daily, or say they care about it but continue to share propaganda that puts Jewish lives in danger. 

What happened the other night in Rafah and what continued to unfold is tragic and devastating and make no mistake that it is the *only* thing on my mind at every moment of every day. And just like Al-Shifa hospital everyone rushes to blame Israel before understanding what happened. And just like the hospital we see that it was not an Israeli airstrike. That does not make it any less devastating. But words matter. And everyone’s ease to believe the same terror organization that proudly films their rape and murders tells me how much more palatable that is than the alternative - believing Jews. There’s only 15 million of us the world. The voices are drowned out, and the ones that pierce through are silenced by the same people that say “it’s not antisemitic to say…”

The hostage video released last week showed them separating the girls into who could get pregnant. Where were the feminists voices then? 

Why is their outrage and compassion selective? Why have some of them made it their entire personality to demonize a country they’ve never been to? Why are they completely unfazed by Russia having bombed a mall the other day? Or, perhaps more pertinent, why do many of them not even know that it happened?

We all make choices about where we place our attention and energy. We cannot be across everything. I do not condemn anyone who cares about Palestinian lives because I care deeply about them, too. It’s just interesting that there is no one disputing the devastation of Sudan, Yemen, Haiti… and yet Israel is the only war that has people PLEADING to be heard, where we are BEGGING people to zoom out and see what’s going on. And how interesting that it is that war, in the face of those pleas, where people double down instead of listen. You are not going crazy. I feel it, too. And then more confusion and pain.

When they share lists of important voices to follow, noticing that it never includes Israeli accounts.

Why they’re not curious about why *this* is what the whole world is talking about.

When the only cause they activate around involves the only Jewish state in the world, it has real world consequences on our children’s safety. 

Death threats to their school increase.
Embassies are lit on fire. 
Temples are shot at. 
Jews are beaten and rammed down. 
All this happened this week.
In the west. 
And we had to watch people share these as acts to celebrate, as though making jewish children scared to wear their Yamulke is somehow righteous.

There is a way forward. A remnant of hope that something may be different in future. But it will never be found like this. It only occurs when we join together in our shared humanity, when we are able to see the truth and stop blindly believing propaganda, to stop demonizing and dehumanizing one another, when we join together to fight the true evil that is at the root of this all; the ones who benefit from our division. If everyone put the same amount of energy into stopping Hamas instead of bolstering them through sharing their propaganda, this would be done and we may all finally begin the very slow route to healing. As Jews we light candles every week to begin Shabbat. And when we symbolically extinguish a candle at the end of Shabbat, we acknowledge the grief of light lost while also remembering that even in the darkest moments, Shabbat comes again; the light always returns. 

May the light return and may we see a new peaceful future.
Not tomorrow,
not soon,
but right now.

And finally, to those who exist within the wellness space: while you have been seemingly abandoned and ostracized and spoken over by a group of people who make their name by the claim of creating safe and inclusive spaces, know that you matter. And know that they have not abandoned you, they have abandoned themselves. And that - we will never do. This is the story of the Jewish people. Forever in exile. And yet somehow forever thriving. Because we remain connected to what it means to be Jewish and stay rooted in the values that drive us to create a better world. And when we find ourselves in spaces we no longer fit, we create new spaces where we can be safe to grow and thrive.

The loneliness and confusion you feel is the same loneliness that has existed in the heart of your ancestors in every generation before you, every generation that experienced antisemitism rebranded in whatever new trend makes it acceptable; whatever new trend makes the antisemites sure of their righteousness and sure that they haven’t been infected with the same virus that each generation before them has succumbed to. How interesting and ironic and beautiful that it is precisely in your loneliness we realize that you and me and we are more deeply connected than ever. 

Light candles. Bake bread. Ask questions. Do good deeds. Express your Judaism in whatever ways keeps you connected to it. Because it is a beautiful and unshakable part of who you are.

I love you. You belong here.